Grief Doesn’t Kill Creativity - It Just Seems That Way
I mentioned in my last post that I hadn’t painted in four years and thought you might want to know why I stopped painting in the first place - I was in the middle of a painting of my beloving Sarah - a three year old standard poodle. She’d had several health problems already, but seemed to be doing better when she had an epileptic episode and almost bit my little niece during it. I made an appointment for her to be seen. Well, it ended up she didn’t just have epilepsy. She also had cancer and I had to put her down. I just started crying every time I looked at the canvas and couldn’t paint it. I don’t know why I didn’t just start something new, but I couldn’t seem to do it.
I don’t think I’ll ever finish this canvas of Sarah, but it doesn’t matter. If I look at it now, I don’t see her the way she was the last day - I see the way she looked the day I decided to paint her - feet flopped over the edge of the lower half of the dutch door and head resting on it, looking hopeful because I was reaching for the leashes.
I guess I just wanted to let you know that if you lost someone or something important, it may feel like your creativity went with them, but eventually it will return. Maybe not in the same form, but some day you will feel a little spark. Fan it, feed it - do a small project and then another. Eventually, you will make something and realize, “Wow, it is back.”
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